Pirates reminds me of.....

Okay so after seeing Pirates (yes the 3rd one) I kind of feel somewhat sad again with Elizabeth and Will. It's driving me crazy! *sigh* I just wish that I could have liked someone in high school and been able to date more because it's fun that and I didn't really have very many guy friends. Only 2 in fact, and our whole lunch table was girls. And anyways I kind of wish I liked someone so that I could get over Aundario (yes I'm using his nickname) Sometimes I think what could have been, I could have gone on so many fun dates with him, he even could have asked me to a dance. *sighs sadly* But no he got taken away, to go to another high school and I was stuck at MV. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever see that guy again, but if I did I'd be out of place. I'm not in his world anymore, he has other friends. I guess in some ways I feel like Shippuden Sakura. For about 2 years she trained really hard after Sasuke left. And even though 2 or so years went by, she still loved him. Time didn't change anything. Will I ever get over him? My first and maybe only true crush.
Oh well, one of the hopes I have for college is that I'll hopefully meet someone. If not I can only hope for my future husband, for he is the real reason. Stay true and good for him.... lots of people tell me that but it's still hard.

Anyways Pirates was good, it was actually funny because Elizabeth doesn't have a love triangle, she has a square! *laughs* I still think that line of Will's is like heart renching. "I feel like I'm loosing her Jack. Every step close I take to my father, she falls away." It's interesting to see the struggle in their relashionship because Will thinks that Elizabeth loves Jack. But yes Will is hot and hotter than Jack and I love him. *fan squeal girl* ^^

Senior Year of High School

okay so um just kind of wondering why I feel so weird at the end of the school year. So I shall delve deep into myself or at least try and scratch the surface.

Reasons why I don't feel like myself:

1) Haven't caught up with journal. I have 3 years of high school to fill into those pages and that could take awhile. I haven't been able to write down all my experiences and get my feelings out so I feel better.

2) I've been struggling with my weight for 3 years. I got into a slight depression in 10th grade (due to peoples going to another school and other family things) And I still haven't gotten down to the weight I wanted. This bugs me, I don't feel like my junior high self.

3) Family issues. This has taken a toll on me my senior year. I had to deal with some things during Sophomore year, then junior year I got a break, then it hit me hard senior year. So it feels like a part of myself has been locked up, taken away, and shattered.

4) art teachers changing. Believe it or not art teachers influence me alot since that is my major famorite subject that I am good at, so it helps to have a good teacher I can bond with. So 10th grade, poor teacher he was retiring anyway. I was depressed and in already in another depression. Then finally my 11th grade year I landed with a very very very good teacher. I loved her to death. I clicked with her. I did very well in art achieving a 4 out of 5 on the AP art test. Then senior year, this new guy is alright, but he doesn't entirely understand me. I'm burned out from junior year in art. He doesn't help me but he's still better then 10th grade teacher. So basically I've had 3 teachers for all 3 years. It's hard to get used to a teacher, start to like them then get them taken away from you to start all over again.

5) I don't want to grow up, and I'm basically a worrier. I'm scared for collage, getting married, having children, you name it I'll be scared of it. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, but I'm a total creature of repetitiveness. I don't take change very easily, it comes on me hard. So basically at the close of this year I feel like after I graduate I have to say goodbye to my childhood, I must be an adult now. I'll never be a child again, a teenager.... that is a hard reality to grasp. I've also avoided things that relate to adults. For example I haven't gotten my drivers license yet, I haven't voted, or gotten a job. So yes it's hard to come to grips that it's going to end very soon.

Who knows maybe I'll go over things later in more depth. But ya it's hard being a senior since you become very lazy. ^^