Senior Year of High School
okay so um just kind of wondering why I feel so weird at the end of the school year. So I shall delve deep into myself or at least try and scratch the surface.
Reasons why I don't feel like myself:
1) Haven't caught up with journal. I have 3 years of high school to fill into those pages and that could take awhile. I haven't been able to write down all my experiences and get my feelings out so I feel better.
2) I've been struggling with my weight for 3 years. I got into a slight depression in 10th grade (due to peoples going to another school and other family things) And I still haven't gotten down to the weight I wanted. This bugs me, I don't feel like my junior high self.
3) Family issues. This has taken a toll on me my senior year. I had to deal with some things during Sophomore year, then junior year I got a break, then it hit me hard senior year. So it feels like a part of myself has been locked up, taken away, and shattered.
4) art teachers changing. Believe it or not art teachers influence me alot since that is my major famorite subject that I am good at, so it helps to have a good teacher I can bond with. So 10th grade, poor teacher he was retiring anyway. I was depressed and in already in another depression. Then finally my 11th grade year I landed with a very very very good teacher. I loved her to death. I clicked with her. I did very well in art achieving a 4 out of 5 on the AP art test. Then senior year, this new guy is alright, but he doesn't entirely understand me. I'm burned out from junior year in art. He doesn't help me but he's still better then 10th grade teacher. So basically I've had 3 teachers for all 3 years. It's hard to get used to a teacher, start to like them then get them taken away from you to start all over again.
5) I don't want to grow up, and I'm basically a worrier. I'm scared for collage, getting married, having children, you name it I'll be scared of it. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, but I'm a total creature of repetitiveness. I don't take change very easily, it comes on me hard. So basically at the close of this year I feel like after I graduate I have to say goodbye to my childhood, I must be an adult now. I'll never be a child again, a teenager.... that is a hard reality to grasp. I've also avoided things that relate to adults. For example I haven't gotten my drivers license yet, I haven't voted, or gotten a job. So yes it's hard to come to grips that it's going to end very soon.
Who knows maybe I'll go over things later in more depth. But ya it's hard being a senior since you become very lazy. ^^
Reasons why I don't feel like myself:
1) Haven't caught up with journal. I have 3 years of high school to fill into those pages and that could take awhile. I haven't been able to write down all my experiences and get my feelings out so I feel better.
2) I've been struggling with my weight for 3 years. I got into a slight depression in 10th grade (due to peoples going to another school and other family things) And I still haven't gotten down to the weight I wanted. This bugs me, I don't feel like my junior high self.
3) Family issues. This has taken a toll on me my senior year. I had to deal with some things during Sophomore year, then junior year I got a break, then it hit me hard senior year. So it feels like a part of myself has been locked up, taken away, and shattered.
4) art teachers changing. Believe it or not art teachers influence me alot since that is my major famorite subject that I am good at, so it helps to have a good teacher I can bond with. So 10th grade, poor teacher he was retiring anyway. I was depressed and in already in another depression. Then finally my 11th grade year I landed with a very very very good teacher. I loved her to death. I clicked with her. I did very well in art achieving a 4 out of 5 on the AP art test. Then senior year, this new guy is alright, but he doesn't entirely understand me. I'm burned out from junior year in art. He doesn't help me but he's still better then 10th grade teacher. So basically I've had 3 teachers for all 3 years. It's hard to get used to a teacher, start to like them then get them taken away from you to start all over again.
5) I don't want to grow up, and I'm basically a worrier. I'm scared for collage, getting married, having children, you name it I'll be scared of it. Sometimes I wish I wasn't, but I'm a total creature of repetitiveness. I don't take change very easily, it comes on me hard. So basically at the close of this year I feel like after I graduate I have to say goodbye to my childhood, I must be an adult now. I'll never be a child again, a teenager.... that is a hard reality to grasp. I've also avoided things that relate to adults. For example I haven't gotten my drivers license yet, I haven't voted, or gotten a job. So yes it's hard to come to grips that it's going to end very soon.
Who knows maybe I'll go over things later in more depth. But ya it's hard being a senior since you become very lazy. ^^
posted by Sorano18 @ 8:17 PM
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