Crash and Burn

I need to just write my feelings out and post somewhere anonymously that is not on facebook or myspace. It's ranting time. *dances*

So I don't think I will ever like the summer anymore because that means I have to get a job and I'm scared to get a job. Why am I so scared? There are a couple of reasons for this. One might be that when I was little and even now when my dad told me to go get something for him or do something if I didn't do it right or didn't know where the item was he would yell at me. This caused me to be afraid which might be why I'm afraid now. I will get scared and freeze up when people ask me to go do things that are required in a job. I don't want someone to yell at me and I don't want to get it wrong so normally I ask a ton of questions which then could annoy the person to death. It also doesn't help when my dad is forcing me to apply somewhere or send out a resume then yelling at me if I don't do things right Summers are terrible, at least I can avoid this during the school year, but I don't have a choice in the matter even if I am over 18. Which is why I'm hiding in my room from him. I constantly avoid things I don't want to do until the last minute so much that I'm starting to wonder if I have social anxiety disorder or something. I just hate it when my friends can get jobs so easily when I can't. It's such a big deal for me. I don't want to grow up. I feel unsure of myself, I don't even have a driver's license yet because I'm scared to get that. I feel like a kid in the adult world...