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okay since my journal is like all messed up since I have to redue certain things to get it in order, I'm just going to do this entry here. So after watching Full Moon (anime) I have alot of mixed feelings. That anime is just so sad in certain areas and it's made me realize some things. Like Mitsuki I fear dying, it scares me because I'm afraid it's going to hurt and stuff. Also I have no idea what to do about the future. I have no idea what I should study in college and I'm going to be in college soon. I don't want to leave high school because college will be a totally different experience with people ranging from 18+ age. Also I feel really down since I only know like 4 guys who would be considered close enough friends to go with to a dance. And they all practically got asked. I wish I knew more guys so I could actually go to dances, my friends all around me get to go. Am I just cursed? Plus this school year is going by too fast, I feel like I haven't even lived it. And it's all going to go away in a blur. I don't even want to study as much for homework because all I want to do is watch anime and be left alone. And yet I have a C- in stupid college writing class because he grades hard. I wanted senior year to be a peaceful year, but that is not so. I'm also slacking off in my artwork. I'm tired of having 3 different teachers for high school. I want to have just one teacher. I don't like finally getting to like the teacher and then having to say goodbye to them for someone else. It's so hard. Junior high was so much better, why did high school have to turn out this way?